The Master Chu Domain

What It Do Baby Boo!

2008-03-11T04:55:00.000-07:00

For those who wants to know what I do here in Dubizzle…I still do events (just like what I did in the Philippines) but I get to do these as well…

Instruct activities like Pit Stop Challenges

Go Around the track with Race Instructors

even test drive Single Seaters on the track!!!

(ako talaga 'to promise!!!)

so do i like working for Dubai Autodrome? For shizzle my nizzle!!!!

Meet My New Baby!

2007-12-27T21:10:00.000-08:00

The best Christmas gift eveeeer!!!!!

To My Father

2007-10-31T10:55:00.001-07:00

this is dedicated to my father...

Title: Song For My Dad
Artist: Keith Urban

Lately I've been noticing
I say the same things he used to say
And I even find myself acting the very same way

To the rhythm in my soul
And I jingle the car keys
When I'm ready to go
When I look in the mirror
He's right there in my eyes
Starin' back at me and I realize

The older I get
The more I can see
How much he loved my mother and my brother and me
And he did the best that he could
And I only hope when I have my own family
That everyday I see
A little more of my father in me

There were times I thought he was bein'
Just a little bit hard on me
But now I understand he was makin' me
Become the man he knew that I could be
In everything he ever did
He always did with love
And I'm proud today to say I'm his son
When somebody says I hope I get to meet your dad
I just smile and say you already have

The older I get
The more I can see
How much he loved my mother and my brother and me
And he did the best that he could
And I only hope when I have my own family
That everyday I see
A little more of my father in me

He's in my eyes
My heart, my soul
My hands, my pride
And when I feel alone

And I think I can't go on
I hear him sayin' "Son you'll be alright"
Everything's gonna be alright"
Yes it is

The older I get
The more I can see
That he loved my mother and my brother and me
And he did the best that he could
And I only hope when I have my own family
That everyday I see
Oh I hope I see
I hope everyday I see
A little more of my father in me

A little more of my father in me
I hope everyday I see in me
In me
In me
I hope everyday I see

A little more of my father in me

To my Dad,

i know we haven't seen eye to eye, but now i understand everything. for a time i said i was tired of living under your shadow but now i'm so proud to say i'm your son.

I LOVE YOU DAD

New Hobby for Me!!!!

2007-04-03T00:38:00.000-07:00

One of my frustrations before was not being able to learn how to become a DJ. My brother had his setup (cdj decks and a mixer) but he didn’t let me touch it. DJ equipment in the Philippines is very expensive and choosing djing as a hobby is quite far fetched due to financial constraints. So I usually just use softwares like Atomix MP3 to mix my music but it doesn’t feel right since all you do is click a mouse button.

Fortunately I was able to find really cheap equipment here in Dubai (thanks to Chico for the hook up). I got myself now a BCD2000 by Behringer. It’s a DJ device which you can plug into your laptop via USB. It comes with a BDJ software but it sucks so I used Virtual DJ instead. It’s so easy to use!!!! It’s just like building a nuclear warhead out of household appliances!

When I got it out of the box, all I had to do is install the programs and drivers to the laptop and I was already beat matching my music with the who’s who of Villa 104!!!!

Happy Birthdee Patoman!!!

2007-03-11T01:50:00.000-08:00

Last March 2 I celebrated my Birthday!!!! So.....ummm.....anyway, it was my first time to celebrate here in Dubizzle (Dubai) and it was really the Shiznit ($#!t)!!!!

For all of you who's not familiar with "Patoman", he is actually my alterego back in the RP (Republic of the Philippines). Patoman usually emerges after a bottle of hard alcoholic beverage and a couple of beers. Patoman doesn't show himself too much recently due to strict alcohol regulations here.

Here are some pictures of Patoman's birthday bash!!!!!

It aint MY party without Chicken Joy Biatch!!!!!

Here's me opening my gift from a super cool garbage bag!

I got me a Beer Mug....3 psp rap videos, 4 diamond earings, 1 Mac Book Pro and a tissue (pwera stir itich!)

Here's me again enjoying my barbecue stick laser sword!

I want to thank all my friends from Villa 104 Al Warqaa, Usher and Ludacris and also John Legend for making my bday extra special!!!

SHUUUUKRAN!!!! (That's "thank you" in arabic)

10 Things I Miss In The Philippines

2007-02-08T01:31:00.000-08:00

1. Cheap liquor
2. Laughing at plain white walls
3. Having nothing to do and still feel important
4. Using “Denver Words” like “Shumasharma na si Delly sa Forn Oh!”
5. Doing Cartwheels in the office
6. Being the Shiznit for Shizzle in the Dizzey at the Hizzay
7. Talking to someone unimportant about important subjects
8. Telling lies to officemates
9. Actually having time to bum around and say “Liby Liby for the Home is My Shizzy!”
10. Getting drunk anywhere at anytime for only Php 50!

How to Become a POSER

2006-07-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

Wikipedia defines a poser as a person who adopts the dress, speech, and/or mannerisms of a subculture for personal gain or in order to manipulate or impress others. A poser does not often share or even understand the philosophical underpinnings of whatever group he or she identifies with, unless it is at the most trivial of levels. Most often, a poser is acting from purely selfish motivations, trying to gain access to a group of people they see as elite, or cause others to think that they belong to that elite group.

In light of this…I will teach you wannabes out there on how to become a true genuine poser!!!! It’s simple and easy! Just follow my steps and I guarantee you that you will become one in a week’s time.

Poser Checklist: (things/abilities you will need to become a poser)

1. wide imagination
2. good communication skills
3. high learning/pick-up ability
4. researching prowess
5. comfortable with untruthfulness
6. no grasp of reality
7. internet access
8. photoshop skills!!!!!

These are just a few things for you to be able to pull off a believable “poser” stature!

Step 1: (KNOWLEDGE)

Always do intensive research on who you want to imitate. Make sure that you will imitate a culture or a person that is always way above your reach. That is the essence of being a poser. You must realize that people nowadays are not stupid. Homosapiens, due to evolution, can now smell bull$#!t talk from miles away. Take down notes of crucial details and make sure you learn it by heart.

Step 2: (INTERNALIZATION)

After learning the culture you wish to imitate, it’s time now for you to understand and learn how to become the PERSON you wish to be! Every once in a while you should internalize that individual. Imagine him/her being magnificent in every way and slowly you should place your face on that person. You should feel it in your heart and you should believe that you will become that person! Screw “reality check” and all that bull$#!t!!!! It’s the stage wherein you redefine yourself.

Step 3: (ON THE JOB TRAINING)

This is the first step of the untrue person within you to meet the realm of reality! This is the trial and error phase where in you will blend in with the real people. You must learn that it’s only ok to have loop holes on your new persona. Just make sure you don’t make the same mistake over and over again. This is where your research will be put to the test. Always find a way to shoot your mouth off on who you are (your poser self). Challenge yourself to communicate with the people around you and make them believe what you believe!!!! Make up stories! Concoct imaginary people! Do EVERYTHING to make them believe your stories! Create photoshop manipulated images as exhibits to your new character.

Step 4: (LETTING GO)

After you make people take notice of who you (your poser self) are, it’s the phase wherein you have to let go of the real you. I believe that it’s time for the new you to face the old person that you are and say…”MOVE B!+CH!!!! GET OUT THE WAY!!!!” let go of that old pathetic loser and say hello to the almost-real new you.

Step 5: (LIVE THE LIE)

Enjoy your creation! Enjoy the new you! Believe yourself! Screw your friends and look for new ones! But always make sure that your old friends still knows how cool and elite you are. It’s now time to take the stage and be the star of your imaginary world!

Keep it mind that to be a poser you don't just create a new character, you build an almost believable world to compliment the poser in you and it's your responsibility to suck the people inside this imaginary domain of yours. make them believe what you believe! Just follow these steps and you will become one of the greatest posers in history!!!!

Remember the Poser's Motto "Always Do It For Yourself And No One Else"

Clubbbbb?

2006-05-28T18:21:00.000-07:00

Please visit and watch DJ Dennis C. at Cafe Coquina every Friday. Located at H.V. Dela Costa St., Salcedo Village Makati City.

Answer the Questions Below and Win a Prize

2006-05-09T23:48:00.000-07:00

It's simple...just answer the questions below thru the comments page and get a chance to win a great great prize!!!

Question 1: Tell me about?

Question 2: What do you note about hourly prints?

Question 3: Why do you want to word?

Question 4: What can you do for us that someone else can't play without?

Question 5: What do you fight most attractive about prostitution?

Question 6: Why should we nice one you?

Question 7: What do you look?

Question 8: Please give me your defintion of?

Question 9: How long would you? and Why?

Question 10: What do you look for when you look for?

Good Luck!!!

Grand Eye Ball to the Maximule

2006-04-25T17:48:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen....

Meet Anne Margarette!

Also, Meet the Award Winning Alliyah!

The Owners of Anne Margarette and Alliyah
Meet Dr. Suharto and Atty. Wikipedia

HIP HOP TO THE MAXX

2006-04-19T00:25:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I watched a documentary entitled “Beef” which is about rappers feud against each other in the US. They sometimes fight against the smallest things but what did strike me was the passion of these people about their music. They rap about growing up in hardship and that they have to sell drugs because they had no other choice. Their lyrics sometimes speak of how they got it bad for how many years before reaching the blings of success. Almost none of them had it good from way before and that’s why they thrived on what they know best…and that shit is music.

After I’ve reflected on the so called “HIP-HOP SCENE” here in the Philippines, I noticed that most of our rappers rap about “love”! They can’t rap about hardships because they have not experienced privation before. Rappers here rap about money, women, cars, basketball and even sandals!!!!!! But not oppression, difficulties and all that bad stuff! They are what you call “POSERS”. Filipino rappers sometimes show-up on their videos as if they are gangsters! Holding their guns and shit, showing acts of violence and what not! I don’t think they know what they are doing. I think they just act that way because they think it’s cool or because they just saw that on TV or something.

That’s why RJ “The Lay-Up King of Sampaloc” Santiago made this song. He said this rap is dedicated to them posers. This is how they should rap.

Title: Hirap ng Buhay (remix) feat. Tripolante Dos
Artist: RJ “The Lay-Up King of Sampaloc” Santiago
Album: Hip-Hop Lang Naman

First Stanza:

Uhh….uhh…uhh…uhh…
Give it Up! Give it Up!!!
What!?! (ano?!) What!?! (ano?!)
What!?! (ano?!) What!?! (ano?!)

Sobrang hirap ng buhay na aking nararanasan
Puro nalang gourmet food at fresh juice aking agahan
Dito sa Ayala Alabang nabuhay at lumaki
At 2 years old English na ang aking lengwahe!

Hindi ako marunong mag-commute kasi ayaw ng parents ko
Bakit daw hindi ko nalang subukan tumira sa Chicago (uuuhh..)
Grade School palang ako sa De La Salle Zobel
“Ang hirap magaral ng math dude” is all I can tell!

You must understand the life that I am living
This is not the shiznit if ya’ll hear what am saying.
I wrote this rap so all of you can see
My wallet has all the “C-Notes” but I aint happy.

Chorus:
No tricycles! (What!?!)
No Jeepneys! (What!?!)
Feed with the food that always has Bling!!
Always eating food like Chicken Ala King!!!

Second Stanza:

My Yaya said once to be always down to earth
I said “of course Yaya Sheila! I’ve known that since birth!”
All the cars that I have from the Benz to Bentley
Guess what player? All of them has MP3!

Nakakainis ang life if there’s always money there to back you
I have all the latest things, name it whatever have you
One time I thought I really had it bad
‘coz I only have 20,000 pesos inside my bag!

I wish you wouldn’t experience the tragedy of my life
Super yaman nga ako pero walang nag-aadvise
Boss! Chief! Dude! Chong! I always call my friends
But none of them rich f*@#ers really comprehend

Chorus:
No tricycles! (What!?!)
No Jeepneys! (What!?!)
Feed with the food that always has Bling!!
Always eating food like Chicken Ala King!!!

Third Stanza:

Guess what homeboy? Have you ever felt the deal?
When you have a personal trainer yelling at you in your treadmill
The jetlag that you feel from flying PANAM and Cathay
Shit! Sabi ko na nga ba I should try mabuhay!

Whenever I feel sad, lonely and all alone
I always go to Palawan, One touch button on my cellphone
The life that I’m living is truly a mess
Can you imagine na hatid sundo ka sa school with Mercedez Benz?

Ok..tama na! hindi naman ako nagyayabang
Pero sana maintindihan niyo ang aking nararanasan
Never did I experience the life of a nobody
Kasi from Luzon to Mindanao my name is known by everybody

Break it down rap master!!!!

Me and Me After Emperador

2006-02-13T22:49:00.000-08:00

Here's me at NORMAL STAGE

Here's me after EMPERADOR

Do I Look The Same?

2006-02-13T21:08:00.000-08:00

Year of the New...Year...of...the...New...Year

2006-01-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

This year i will...

1. Build an airplane
2. Make beautiful carpets out of dead skin.
3. Print ink
4. Laugh when no one is looking
5. Give Myon an Axe Kick
6. Give Paul a split decision
7. Give Dexter a bulldog with lisp
8. Join a gang whose motto is “Like Ko Yan…Foreva!”
9. Learn how to digest glow sticks
10. Eat plenty of tables
11. Chop vegetables using my x-ray vision
12. Make my super hero costume
13. Change my last name to Zobel or Montero
14. Look for something red
15. Revive the dinosaurs
16. Listen to Kuwindi Mcmillan
17. Give advise to no one
18. Jump and Jack
19. Make a movie about keyboards entitled “The Key…Board: 2”
20. Enjoy refrigerators

The Art of “Small Talk”

2005-11-01T23:32:00.000-08:00

Have you ever experienced being alone with someone for the first time and you don’t have any idea how to start a conversation with him/her? Be it in a vehicle, wash room or even in a party. If your answer is a fat “YES”, then this is the perfect blog for you. Let me introduce you to the fantastic arena of “SMALL TALK”. Wherein you will learn to engage in a blank dialogue and still look very intelligent, wise and very very cool!

Encarta Dictionary defines “Small Talk” as meaningless empty chatter. Wordnet defines it as a light informal conversation for social occasions. Whatever definition I find I still see it as an opportunity to brag or in the other hand just kill the ultra boring emptiness of air space.

I will share to you my TOP 5 sure fire hit SMALL TALK topics.

Topic 1: (weather)

Normal: “grabe, ang init noh?” or “grabe, ang lakas ng ulan…may bagyo ba?”. This will surely end the null!

Conyo: “Dude, hassle ang init. Ang taas nga ng bill ko sa pad ko kasi super 24/7 nakabukas yung aircon namin eh.” Or “Yes umuulan!!! Perfect na perfect yung bagong jacket ko na worth $500!”

Topic 2: (social status)

Normal: I normally use this when I’m in a taxi. Say “ang hirap na talaga ng buhay ngayon noh sir? Ang mahal na ng gasulina tapos magtataaas pa daw.”

Conyo: You may start with “Man, have you seen the new BMW 3 series? Grabe! Ang lupit dude!”

Topic 3: (sports)

Normal: “pare napanood mo ba yung laban ni pacquiao? t@^&!n@ ang galing noh?”

Conyo: “Dude, where do you think I can buy a nice horse? I’m planning to start playing polo kasi eh.”

Topic 4: (office)

Normal: “grabe pare noh? nakakapagod talaga sa trabaho ngayon. Ang daming ginagawa”. You may even have a two-hit combination topic like “haaay naku, nakakapagod talaga sa trabaho ngayon. Ang daming projects tapos ang lakas pa ng ulan.” You just hit the office and weather topics!

Conyo: “ wasup bro? Where do you work?....(after the reply)…..ah really? Cool, I’m in the same line of business kaya I know na super nakaka-tiring yung work mo dude.”

Topic 5: (love life)

Now this is very tricky! You may only use this topic when you like the person you are talking to. This is a good null breaker and gurl catcher at the same time. Of course you must have the uncanny ability to set the mood because without it bad vibes ka agad chong.

Normal: “ummm…pwede humingi ng advise? Kasi yung crush ko mag-bbday na tapos hindi ko pa sure kung ano ibibigay ko sa kanya”…(after the reply)…create a gentle laugh and say “oo nga! Tama ka. Buti nalang nakausap kita. Ano nga pala ulit number mo?”

Conyo: “oo nga pala, my name is state your name and you are? You have a very cute name. Pareho kayo ng name cousin ko sa Europe. Have you ever been to Europe?”…(after the reply)…”I remember her to be very sweet and pretty din siya like you. Wanna grab a bite to eat?”

Here are just some solid ways to engage in a conversation. I hope you’ve learned something.

The Conyotic Certification Notes…

2005-08-31T18:22:00.000-07:00

1. Speak tag-lish (Tagalog – English) language as often as possible.

2. Always wear signature clothes like Ralph Lauren, Hollister or any brand you can find at “U” (located in Rustan’s)

3. Learn to smoke cigarettes and don’t neglect the proper art of holding it with your right hand and using your mobile phone with your left.

4. Be mindful of the latest hi-tech gadgets and make sure you upgrade yours every 6 months. (T3 Magazine is a good choice of reference)

5. Hit the gym at least 4 times a week in order to physically fit to clothes that are tight. (Always tell people that you workout at Gold’s Gym or Slimmers World)

6. Buy the “live strong” Baller ID and when people ask why you wear it, answer in this method “I support the fight against cancer” then smoke a cigarette.

7. Don’t be afraid to wear pink. Manliness isn’t gauged by the colors that you wear. Orange, Pink, Gentle Sea Blue are all fashion statements.

8. Buy healthy products like San Mig Light, Winston Lights, Coke Light, Red Bull Light, etc.

9. Always watch fashion programs to be trendy.

10. Use english curse words but when you feel like saying t@&*ina, say it in this manner…TAINA! (remember to make the chinese eyes style and turn your head to the left whenever using this curse word)

11. Everytime your friends ask you to play physical sports, always tell them that your sport is golf, tennis and the likes. (it doesn’t have to be true, it’s for conyo press release purposes only)

12. Automobile is a necessity in the conyo world. Dress up your car and leave the receipts at the passenger side for people to see.

13. Refer to your mobile phone as cell, gadgy, mobes or My Ringy!

14. Use the words dude, chong, chief, chiefy and bro when referring to your friends. (You may use it to complete strangers also)

15. DO NOT GO TO HIPHOP NIGHTS AT ANY BAR AND AT ANY TIME!!!!!

16. Get event/party flyers from friends and post it on your cubicle at the office or your locker in school. (it will connote your presence in the party even if you are physically absent in the venue)

17. Don’t always go out with your friends on weekends. This will give you the chance to use yachting, scuba diving and out of the country excuses whenever they ask where you were at.

18. When someone asks you where you live, always tell them that you move from condominium to condominium depending on your clubbing schedule.

19. When in a fancy restaurant with friends, do not finish your food. Place your utensils on the table, lean forward and drop your tears gently. When they ask why, tell them you miss your grandmother’s cooking in Europe! (This is a very difficult trick! Crying on command is hard but very fulfilling)

20. When people ask what your job is, the only correct answer is “I’m an affluent entrepreneur”.

21. Spend time with your Call Center friends. This is an opportunity to be updated with the latest conyo terms.

22. When leaving a club, always pretend that you’re using your mobes (your mobile phone) and shout out “DRIVER!! PICK ME UP NA!”

23. Utilize Starbucks, Seattle's Best and other coffee places. Make sure that your friends see you there at least once a week.

24. When people are talking to you, always start your response with “Yeah! I Knoooooow!”.

25. Conyotic Press Release Note: "Guys, Sorry but i don't know how to commute eh." (This one is a classic!)

26. Always pretend that you don't know remote locations. example: tondo (remember to pronounce them in an unorthodox manner. for example word: TONDO pronunciation: TUWN-DO)

27. Place novels on your office table or your room. Leave your latest, most expensive book still in the plastic cover at the back of your car so you can always tell people that you just bought it and haven't had enough time to read because of work.

28. Proper Conyo Driving Posture: Seats Declined, your buttox placed all the way back, lean forward, extend your left arm outside with a cigarette of course, place your right hand on the steering wheel with the forearm and biceps at 90 degrees and volume of car audio is at maximum. (this is a certified attention grabber)

29. Conyo Press Release Note: "I have asthma and allergies eh". (this will raise your "maselan" factor hence making you a rich person)

30. Buy an iPod or an iPod mini. Buy both if possible. When you don't have a budget, just buy the white earplugs instead and always wear them.

31. When friends invite you for a night out and you don't have the cash. the proper answer is "I'm not sure guys ah. My dad and i might go to Aman Pulo this weekend eh. I'll text your mga gadgy nalang if i will be able to make habol."

32. For men: try to lower your tone of voice for masculinity factor! For women: Be "KIKAY" as often possible.

33. Do not be on time!

34. When people ask you to treat them outside, counter their plead by inviting them to a place where you know it is impossible for them to attend. (Example: "Dude! Treat mo naman us sa Starbucks" Conyo Counter Answer: "Ganito nalang guys, Me and my family are going to Boracay this wednesday. I will make you guys libre nalang there. Ay! may work nga pala kayo. next time nalang dude".

35. When people ask you out. Don't confirm right away. tell them you have to check your schedule first and confirm your attendance a couple of hours before the event.

Here are some few tips to be a certified conyo. Remember that the key is always tell people how rich your are eventhough you are not. There are many ways to introduce your wealth to them. Use traveling, houses, work, sports as a medium. Mind you…this isn’t easy. So practice, practice, practice my dear friends.

25 Things I Can't Leave Home With or Without!

2005-08-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

SWORD

SIDEKICK

SHOES

SCENTED CANDLES

RING TONE

RED WINE

PRINTER

PORK CHOP

PANTS

PANDESAL

PANCIT CANTON

ORANGE JUICE

MIRROR

LIGHT BULB

JUMP SHOT

HIGH FIVE

HANDKERCHIEFY

FLOURIDE

CHICKENJOY

MOBILE PHONE

CAPACITOR

BROOM

BATMAN

ALLEN "THE ANSWER" IVERSON

VINEGAR

Dexter's School of Peanut Butter Dunks

2005-08-03T17:54:00.000-07:00

Want to learn how to dunk?
Then Enroll at Dexter's School of Peanut Butter Dunks

Where you will learn the following...

1. Slam Dunk On Your Best Friend
2. Create Pictures Using Only Peanut Butter
3. Make Fun of Dexter
4. Reach Out to Out Reach Richers
5. HAVE FUUUUN!!!!!

Please call 09192432663 for more information.

BUT WAIT!!!!!!!

IF YOU ENROLL BEFORE NOVEMBER 2006...

YOU WILL GET THIS FREE PEANUT BUTTER!!!

ENROLL NOW!!!!

Super Filipinos

2005-08-02T21:46:00.000-07:00

"MGA TAGAPAGTANGGOL NG MGA MAYAYAMAN"

For Sale

2005-07-25T19:17:00.000-07:00

Authentic CYNTHIA LUSTER Olympic Jersey

For Inquiries Please contact Dexter Ramirez at 09192432663 or email him at dextoi@yahoo.com

The Letter

2005-07-22T00:52:00.000-07:00

Hey Anthony!

Wasup man? How’s life treating you? I’m sorry I was only able to email you now. I got sick and I was in the hospital for a couple of days. Everything is just mad crazy now man. The reporters, fans and all that, they’re just driving me crazy man. Wish you’re here so we could do the things we used to. Skiing, surfing, mountain climbing. I miss those days although you always beat me on every competition. That’s alright though. I also want to thank you for giving me that workout program. It worked well for me. I was so jealous with your abs before man but now I think I got better. I’m just lonely right now man. I thought me and Jen could really work things out. Thank God Angelina always makes me feel better. Oo nga pala, I met this girl one time in San Francisco. She said her name was Ed. She said it was short for Edessa. She’s ok but I don’t feel like getting into a relationship right now. I tried calling her last night but she wouldn’t answer. I was planning to invite her to go here in the states pa naman to look at some houses. Here is a picture of us together.

Call me when you’re free man and please do tell me if you’re gona pass by here in the US so we could get together. Take care buddy. Remember this pic?

Brad

The Manly Battle

2005-07-18T19:59:00.000-07:00

Me and my stupid friend Paul Michael Santiago had this debate since the year 2000. A very logical and knowledgeable battle of opinions! We’ve battled this topic from basic car rides to heated drinking sessions. Both of us won’t step down from our own beliefs and already gathered a legion of comrades to back-up our firm convictions. A simple question of “Sino sa tingin mo…” evolved into a semi-manly cult of undying passion to pull someone down to our level of enlightenment.

The great debate is…Who is cuter? BRAD PITT or TOM CRUISE?

I am a pro Bradd Pitt fan. For me, he is the quintessence of what a man should be. His manly curves from forehead to toe provides me a bone tingling sensation which makes me hit the gym every week. But my brainless counterpart thinks otherwise. He believes that Tom Cruise is better. His Boy-Next-Door type of smile always makes him hold his seat tighter while watching Tom Cruise’s movies. Paul always runs to magazine stands just to have a glimpse of his new cover photo.

This conflict of opinion will reach our final breathes but I will still stand firm to my podium! Brad Pitt is the man!!!!

Ano Paul? Palag ka pa?!!! Asa pa eh!!!!

Jojo is Here!

2005-07-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

Live in Concert

On Stage
Greenbelt 1, Makati City
October 9, 2005. 9:00 AM

Singing everything from HIS hit album entitled "UNANG YAKAP"

•Unang Yakap
•Alam Mo Ba?
•May Gusto Ako sa 'Yo
•Dyahe Man Sa 'Yo
•Isang Pangarap
•I'm Letting You Go
•Everyday and Every Night
•Whenever You Need Me
•The Meaning of Love
•Sandra

also featuring

•Lance and Ranny Raymundo
•Long Envelope Gangsta
•The Maneuvers
•Robert Singko "2000 Dane Dance Revolution Champion"
•Ja-Rule and the entire Murder, inc. Family

Tickets @ Php 12.50/head
Free Morning Snacks and Minolta Gift Wrappers

The Party Animal

2005-07-04T18:02:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, me and my dear friends (except Paul Santiago, who is such a loser) went to a super cool party. The place was outrageous! They served cognac, wine, chardonnay and imported food! We all had a great time but after drinking 57 bottles of Cali Shandy, I felt really wobbly. My friends told me that I was the life of the party despite the fact that I can’t properly stand anymore. I remember one thing though, people were telling me “dude! Party animal ka talaga! Ang cool mo!” and to prove my story, here is a picture of me having the time of my life!

Wait...

2005-06-28T23:09:00.000-07:00

Anne Margarette
Alliyah

Everybody will know them soon!!!!

Team 18s!!!!

The TV Feud

2005-06-17T18:40:00.000-07:00

Me and my girlfriend (Kristine “Ms. Sidekick” Nabong) are fond of watching the television, we even have our dinner in front of the screen. We normally agree on the same shows but recently we fight for possession of the remote control. Since the NBA Playoffs started, we can’t seem to concur on what to watch. Suddenly, she has this fad with the Detroit Pistons. I normally insist on watching “Kampanerang Kuba” on ABS-CBN but that is now impossible whenever the Pistons have a game. She then made me realize why she is in a big craze with the NBA defending champions…the answer…Chauncey Billups.

Last Years’ MVP and the court general of the 2005 Eastern Conference Champion Detroit Pistons.

I was very much intrigued by her fascination with the player but I was also puzzled at the same time. Why Chauncey Billups? She then explained to me why she is infatuated with the man…and after the explanation…I then agreed with her.

THAT"S ONE BIG @$$!!!

Wow! Steven "Super" Seagal

2005-06-17T01:09:00.000-07:00

Steven Seagal Then...

Steven Seagal Now!

Try typing "Steven Seagal" on www.google.com/images and this disturbing picture will show on the first page.

Remembering Cynthia L.

2005-06-16T00:36:00.000-07:00

I would like to dedicate this blog to Cynthia Luster, One of the most versatile Asian actress to set foot on the silver action screen. The Japanese native (Yes! She’s a Japanese!) already appeared in over 60 Japanese, Taiwanese, Philippines and Chinese films between 1986 and 1999. Yukari Oshima, or better known as Cynthia Luster made movies like “Millionaire’s Express,” 1986, “Dreaming The Reality,”1991, “The Story of Ricky,” 1992) and featuring prominently in the “girls with guns” (GWG) genre of the late 1980s and early 1990s.

In a filmed interview Yukari described herself as growing up enjoying martial arts movies. As a teenager she trained in goju ryu karate with Master Miki. This traditional, low stance Okinawan form involves rigid, linear strikes, in contrast to the more fluid Shaolin-influenced Chinese styles. Her distinctive fighting style has also included skillful use of traditional weapons forms. She acquired impressive proficiency with staff techniques!

Films like “Once Upon A Time In Manila,” 1994, “Pintsik,” 1994, “Tapang Sa Tapang,” 1997 were filmed here in the Philippines. I remember watching these movies after school and imitating her every move!

Source: www.brns.com

Luckily, I had the chance to interview her before she went back to her home town of Fukuoka, Japan.

Me: Good Afternoon Ms. Luster

CL: Goodah apternoon also toyo.

Me: Before anything else, I would like to thank you for giving me this privilege of having an interview with you.

CL: Datz no frovlem. Me like Pilipinos. Dats whey I stayed hurr for a numver of yers.

Me: ummm…I’m actually embarrassed to ask you these questions but I really have to.

CL: Datz oki. Goh ahed and askz.

Me: Ummm…So you really are a Japanese and not a Chinese?

CL: Hai! Bhut I hab no careers in Japan so I managed to hab one in Hong Kong and Taiwan

Me: What’s your real Chinese name anyway?

CL: DAI-DO Yu-Kar-Lei

Me: So what’s up with the Cynthia Luster thing? Why Cynthia and why Luster?

CL: Actwaly, I don’t know…My manyager and taleynt agent geyb meh dat name because my Japanese name doesn’t sound layk an martial artist.

Me: Ah ok. Did you enjoy making films here in the Philippines?

CL: oohuhuhuhuhu! Hai! Berry mush! I became a comdien also. I em not used to beeeing a laughing person becoz I em used to kicking.

Me: That’s logical. Final Question Ms. Luster…Choose between the two, Vic Sotto or Ronnie Rickets?

CL: oohuhuhuhuhu! I leyk dem booth. But I remember Vic Sohttoh to be berry phunny. I leyk Vic!

Me: That’s cool. Thank you very much for your time Ms. Luster. I hope you can make more movies here.

CL: yoh are welcome Anthony San! I can’t make mobies hir anymore becoz ehm going to Japan to shoot a commercial wit Green 2 for Apple iPod Mini.

Me: Wonderful!

Here are some pictures of Cynthia during her Movie Glory Days.

Long Live Cynthia Luster!

Raymundo Brothers: Epitome of Filipino Music

2005-06-14T00:51:00.000-07:00

Title: Melt With You
Album: Solid Filipino Songs (Purely Tagalog Vol. II)
Artists: Raymundo Brothers
Performance: Last Seen Performed at Chowtime Na!

Moving forward using all my breath
Making love to you was never second best
I saw the world thrashing all around your face
Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace

I’ll stop the world and melt with you
You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time
There’s nothing you and I won’t do
I’ll stop the world and melt with you

(you should know better)
Dream of better lives the kind which never hate
(you should see why)
Dropped in the state of imaginary grace
(you should know better)
I made a pilgrimage to save this humans race
(you should see why)
What I’m comprehending a race that long gone bye

(I’ll stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you
(I’ll stop the world) you’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time
(let’s stop the world) there’s nothing you and I won’t do
(let’s stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you

The future’s open wide

(let’s stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you
(let’s stop the world) I’ve seen some changes but it’s getting better all the time
(let’s stop the world) there’s nothing you and I won’t do
(let’s stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you

The future’s open wide

Hmmm hmmm hmmm
Hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm
Hmmm hmmm hmmm
Hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm

I’ll stop the world and melt with you (let’s stop the world)
You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time (let’s stop the world)
There’s nothing you and I won’t do (let’s stop the world)
I’ll stop the world and melt with you (let’s stop the world)
I’ll stop the world and melt with you (let’s stop the world)
I’ll stop the world and melt with you (let’s stop the world)

DELLY & BOBOLI

2005-06-10T18:11:00.000-07:00

In Loving Memory of

Dexter Sherwin Ramirez

aka

BEAUTIFUL DELLY
1980 - 2005

tsaka

In Loving Memory of

Myron Emmanuel Patrimonio

aka

Boboli XXL
1982 - 2005

Bad Mr. Paul Santiago

2005-06-07T20:49:00.000-07:00

Hi Guys! I just want to share an incident sent to me by Mr. Anthony Lycoast of Be My Lady, Inc. (BMLI) BMLI is a known events organizer in Caloocan whose 35 years of experience has given them the 2004 grant of "EVENTS ORGANIZER/TREE PLANTER of the YEAR"

Please do take time to read the emails sent by Mr. Lycoast to Mr. Santiago and the discourteous reply of Mr. Santiago.

(Email of Mr. Lycoast)

Dear Mr. Santiago,

Good Day!

I am Anthony Lycoast, Systems Analyst for Be My Lady, Inc. Based on our previous conversations via electronic mail (email) we were then discussing our future plans to commence our out reach program in Boracay entitled "Coach Bombay Live in Boracay". Since our company is in desperate need of support and attendance to the said event but at the same time still trailing an undesirable time line, we will necessitate a deadline for registration. Our company, BMLI, would advise you to inform us of your "go or no go" status on or before January 19 (Tuesday of next week). Our sources notified us that we better make the reservations as early as now for us to acquire our desired option for our trip. The "difficulty" stage for the Boracay program is nearing and our company can't afford to lose this opportunity.

We would also like to extend our invitation to your other associates namely "hiptals" unless revoked by another entity much powerful than yours.

Below is the full affair description of "Coach Bombay Live in Boracay" for your review.

COACH BOMBAY LIVE in BORACAY

Due to the increasing requirement of osteoporosis medication, Be My Lady, Inc. together with Poor Fish Productions will be holding the first ever "Coach Bombay Live in Boracay" a fund raiser fever program. This event will address the need for osteoporosis medicine and its public awareness.

AGENDA:

March 7

Morning
4:00 - Wakey Upy Time
4:30 - Get Up and Dance Sessions
5:00 - Internalize the Beat w/ DJ Samson
6:00 - Breakfast
7:00 - Press Conference w/ "Mr. Prestigious" Don Camaso
7:30 - Leg Sweep Gathering
8:00 - Fax Blast Attack (hosted by Camille P.)
9:00 - Break
10:00 - Break...Dance Dance Dance!!!
11:00 - Text to the Beat w/ Ryan Cayabyab

Afternoon
12:00 - LUNCH
2:00 - Nappy Time
4:00 - RAVE-olution party

*time may subject to 54 hour change without notice

Suggestions or rants may be emailed to pootypoo@atatat.org

Thank you very much Mr. Santiago for your support. We do hope to hear from you soon.

Best Regards,

Anthony Lycoast
Systems Analyst
Be My Lady, Inc.
Tel No. 09178249089
Fax No. 2

Email of Mr. Santiago (words of profanity were replaced with (bleeps))

(bleep)ina! ang haba ng ginawa mo! hahahaha! hindi ba pwedeng 3rd week na lang of march? para makasama kmi.

walang lang.

mr. lycoast, i regretfully would like to inform you that a presence of a "hiptal" is ok with me, but it is not ok for a greater power, and i dont want to go to boracay-dome with my wife uneasy with everything. i hope you understand.
(bleep) YOU!

Reply Email of CEO of Be My Lady Inc.

Dear Mr. Santiago,

Hi!

My colleague, Mr. Lycoast, informed me that he tried contacting you yesterday, January 14, regarding our “Coach Bombay Live in Boracay” event via email but wasn’t able to receive any rejoinder from your side. Let me just remind you that this is a serious matter. To help you understand your own personal risk of osteoporosis and the debilitating fractures which accompany the disease, get the National Osteoporosis Foundation’s brochure, “Take Action: Healthy Bones, Build Them for Life, Rap Like a Gangstar!”. Mr. Lycoast also informed me that he called you early afternoon yesterday to notify you about the current status of the pre-reservation stage but a very unhealthy verbal profanity ended your conversation.

This letter does not serve as a threat but rather a dispatch of disapproval for the mode of language you used to my top employee. I just need you to know that Mr. Lycoast suffered a major heart attack yesterday due to the very unpleasant adjective you used against her mother.

Be My Lady, Inc. still considers you as one of its major partners for this event and let me leave you with a quote from one of my dearest friends…

“Itsumo kokoro we hoshi itstuka
Dare katu mata koi nei utchitimu
Itsumo kokoro nei eiro itsumo
Anata dake no basho ga aru kara”

TRANSLATION:
“The sun is shining with the breeze of happiness
Our sky is delighted with your smile
Count one to fifty three for this I will bless
To make my every second seem worthwhile”

Again Mr. Santiago, thank you very much for your time.

Best regards,
Johnny Dickerson
Chairman & CEO
Be My Lady, Inc.

Oh Yes!!!!

2005-05-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of me with the whole Meteor Garden Gang! We had this picture taken at Alabang Town Center last year! Promise...authentic 'to!

Meteor Garden!!!!

2005-05-30T01:38:00.000-07:00

MGA SENYALES NA NA-ADDICT KA NA SA METEOR GARDEN

1. Ang Ringtone ng cellphone mo ay “Qing Fei De Yi” at sangkatutak ang picture messages mo na naglalaman ng mga pagmumukha ng mga F4. Pati Logo mo ay meteor garden at kulang na lang pati casing mo ay F4.

2. Naguguluhan ka na minsan sa cellphone mo dahil Chinese ang ginamit mong language.

3. Nagpagawa ka ng speaker para sa kotse mo na parang may mga megaphone na equipment sa labas. Gusto mo rin “live” ang sounds kaya pinipilit mo ang driver mo kumanta.

4. Ibinagsak ka ng professor mo dahil ginaya mo si Dao nung di niya sinasadyang maapakan ang paa mo.

5. Napapadalas ang pagsesentimiyento mo sa rooftop

6. Napapadalas ang panonood mo ng “Maalaala mo Kaya at mga Teleserye para masubukan mo kung effective nga yung technique ni Lei

7. Ipinagpalit mo ang kotse mo sa isang scooter

8. Nagtatalo kayo ng nanay mo dahil pinapagaya mo sa kanya ang napakagandang hairstyle nung nanay ni San Chai

9. Nag-aabang kang maimbitahan sa isang party dahil binabalak mong patayin ang ilaw para mnahalikan ang crush mo

10. Nahihilig kang kumain ng mga kakaibang gulay, isda at kanin; pati kubyertos mo ay naiinip na sa estante dahil pinipilit mong
mag-chopsticks.

11. Nagpilit kang mag-aral ng Chinese dahil nagpapantasya kang ma-meet ang F4 sa personal. (Mind you - maraming Chinese dialects) Ginagawa mo rin ito para naman di ka mukhang tangang kumakanta ng awiting di mo naman maunawaan.

12. Nilagyan mo ng karatulang “You’re Dead” ang locker ng kaaway mo at kung di ka naman war freak, naghihintay kang malagyan ang locker mo nun

13. Ang World History at Geography Books mo na dati lang nabibulok sa bookshelf ay biglang nagkatupi-dun sa pages tngkol sa China o Taiwan

14. Di ka na nandidiri o nababaduyan sa Ukay ukay ngayon basta ba malapit sa binibilhan ng F4 poster sa bangketa. Inaway mo pa nga yung lolang umaagaw sa poster na nakuha mo na.

15. Isa ka sa mga nangungulit sa ABS-CBN na papuntahin ang F4 sa Pilipinas.

16. Wala ka nang pakialam kung SARS infected man ang Republic of China

17. Bigla mo na lang kinainisan sila Paolo Bediones at Miriam Quiambao

18. Diskumpiyado ka dahil kalian man ay hindi mo malalagyan ng mga meteor ang garden niyo.

19. Sandamukal na mura na ang natanggap mo mula sa Rock fans ng UNTV nang mag-request ka ng kanta ng F4 sa Rock and Punk program nila

20. Wala ka nang ibang tatak ng bra na gusto kundi Chanel

21. Mas may pang-unawa ka na sa mga may down syndrome dahil kay Lei

22. Inireklamo ka sa barangay dahil bigla mong naisipan magpaputok sa madaling araw para “mapansin ka ng mga anghel”

23. Napapakunot ang noo sa iyo ng mga magulang mo dahil nagpapabili ka sa kanila ng barko

24. Nakatutok ka na sa tv kahit “Magandang Umaga Bayan” pa lang ang palabas. Baka kasi i-feature ang F4

25. Dinrop mo ang subject na katapat ng Meteor Garden timeslot.

26. Gusto mong lagayan ng red card si Cong. Villarama dahil ipababand daw niya ang MG.

27. Halos mabaliw ka na dahil magmula pagkagising mo hanggang sa panaginip F4 pa riin ang nasa utak.

28. For the very first time naatrrack ka sa lalaking mahaba ang buhok.

29. Sinusubaybayan mo ang F4 song sa MYX kung ano ang nangyari, kung nasa no.1 pa ba sila o natanggal na (wag naman sana).

30. Iboboto mo si Imee Marcos sa next election dahil anti banning siya ng MG.

31. Nagti-twinkle-twinkle ang eyes mo everytime na nakakarinig ka ng Dao Ming Shi , Hua Xe Lei ,Ximen, at Menzou.

32. Kahit pang tuition mo binawasan mo dahil binili mo ng CD concert at MTV ng F4.

33. Ikaw ang isa sa dahilan bakit nanalo ang F4 sa MYXMATCH laban sa Westlife.

34. Bumili ka ng 10.00 forster ng F4 at inilagay sa loob ng refreigeratore para sa tuwing bubuksan mo yun, bubungad sa yo ang napakagandang nilang mukha.

AND MY FAVORITE...

35. Itinakwil mo halos lahat ng kaibigan mo at nagtira ka lang ng tatlo para apat kayo.

Source: www.pinoyauctions.com

The Angel of Poro Point

2005-05-26T01:12:00.000-07:00

When me and my friends went to La Union to have our time off from work, we never did expect to have the most unforgettable experience of our lives. We stayed at “Poro Point”, a small port area which was originally a local dock for American ships. Me and my companions were having a grand time at the beach when suddenly my friend Dexter “Asal Kamao” Ramirez was dazed by an angelic light. We all screamed in shock due to the amount of pain that our friend was undergoing. He was continuously shouting “LANCHONES!!! MANCHANAS!!! CHAMONE!!! CHAMONE!!!”. We were disturbed at a certain point but we were so eager to provide consciousness to our almost dying fat friend.

Silence…

Silence was all there was when Dexter stopped any human motion possible. As our friend Myon drastically called for help it seems that his efforts were in vain. No one was in sight to help us. While we were busy looking for assistance, we were baffled to discover that Dexter wasn’t where we left him. HE WAS GONE!

Myon: Chu!!!! Nasan na yung baboy nating kaibigan?

Chu: Aba malay ko!

Peaches: Ano bang nangyayari? Hindi naman basta basta pwede mawala ang ganung katabang tao noh?!

Kuya Aris: Oo nga! Nasan na ba yung matabang Dexter na yan?!

Onin: Kuya Aris...may beer pa ba?

Tatin: Nagugutom ako.

Chu: Ano ba kayo mga dude! mamaya na ang inom at kain! hindi pwede mawala si Dex!

Marie: Oo nga! May utang pa sakin yung gagong yun!

As we were about to lose our temper and sanity, a gargantuan-like voice boomed from up above.

“HOY MGA TANGA!!! NANDITO AKO!!!”

All of us: ANOOOO???!!!!!

We felt an aura of magnificence and a splendid feeling of enlightenment when we saw the transformation of Dexter.

Myon: Hoy Dex!!! Ang lupit mo na pare! nakakalipad ka na!

(Dex?): Hindi na Dexter ang pangalan ko. Ako na si…BEAUTIFUL DELLY!!!

Jaw dropping tremble filled the air and then…

BEAUTIFUL DELLY: Uupo lang ako para magpahinga, nahihirapan ako lumipad. Picturan niyo nako kung gusto niyo. Magpoposing ako.

So here I am. Making this web log for you to see the glorified transformation of Dexter “Asal Kamao” Ramirez to BEAUTIFUL DELLY!

Wish You Were Here Amanda

2005-05-23T01:49:00.000-07:00

I miss my previous car. My priced possession, my 2000 Model Toyota Corolla named Amanda. This was the first car that I loved so much and invested so much money in. I remember the first time we saw each other. It was a Friday night! After going out with my friends, when I was about to reach our house I saw a beautiful white car in front of our humble abode! When I came inside our house, my mom gave the keys to me and told me that it was a surprise from my father! It was already 3:00 AM but still I went running outside and had a test drive!

After 4 years with Amanda, I’ve already installed the following…

Super Black Wrap Around Tints
Leather Seats
Tanabe 2” Drop Super Down Precedo Lowering Springs
Simota Sport Air Filter and Breather
Nodalos 4-2-1 Headers
Nodalos Sport Muffler
Concept One 15” Rims
Falken 195/50 Tires
Pioneer 50x4 MOSFET MP3 Player with Digital Graphics
Pioneer EX Separates (front and rear)
Kicker L5 Solo Baric
Lightning Audio Amplifier

I traded Amanda to my brother for a ’99 model CRV due to matters I can’t really disclose. I miss Amanda so much. Our Car Wash Sundays, The way she takes me home even though I’m really intoxicated and the way we rip the road when i'm racing against MYON and VIC. I just learned that my brother will sell Amanda already. I just wish that the next owner will be as caring as I am.

I will post about Anne Margarette some other time. In the intervening time, please do enjoy a picture of my dear friend Dovinique.

Pimp My iPod

2005-05-18T19:22:00.000-07:00

Its official my dear friends, Ma’am Edessa Nola is a 100% loser. Let me tell you a scenario that happened earlier this weak.

Ma’am Dessa: Hoy Stupid Chu!

Me: Ako po ba tinawag niyo ma’am Dessa?

Ma’am Dessa: Oo, tanga! May ibang Chu pa ba dito sa office na cute…este…stupid pala!

Me: Ay…sorry po ma’am. Ano po kailangan niyo ma’am.

Ma’am Dessa: Lagyan mo nga ng tugtog ‘tong 20 Gig na iPod ko.

Me: ummm….ano po ibig niyo sabihin sa tugtog?

Ma’am Dessa: yung music?! Hello?!!!

Me: ahhhh, MP3 po yung tawag dun ma’am.

Ma’am Dessa: MP3 shmempiTHREE. Whatever! Basta lagyan mo. Kung hindi palalabasin ko sa Medicard mo na nagmamarijuana ka.

Me: Yes Ma’am. Gagawin ko na po.

After broswing Ma’am Dessa’s iPod, I discovered that she was listening to some of the dumbest music ever. Listed below are samples of her song list.

Title: I Like to Dunk That Booty
Artist: Donovan

Title: The Sword of Door to Door
Artist: Next Time (The Band)

Title: Smorgasbord of Water Color Part II
Artist: Synopsis

Title: Alak at Damit
Artist: Raymundo Brothers

Title: Confetti
Artist: Usher Evangelista

Title: Sing-A-Long Jump
Artist: Boyz II Men feat. Dracula

And the list goes on and on….how dorky! If it wasn’t for me, ma’am dessa’s iPod will be given a rating of “TRASH”. I just pimped her iPod with songs like…

Title: I’d Still Say Yes…terday
Artist: Bulldozer 8

Title: Isaisahin ang Bitwin
Artist: Glock 9

Title: Sumakay Ka Na sa Pedicab Ko Gurl
Artist: Glock 9

The Full Edition

2005-05-09T19:13:00.000-07:00

F4 Fans!!!!! Vic, Ken, Vanness and Jerry are back at ABS! The male quartet phenom will again raid your TV screens! ABS CBN re-launched Meteor Garden last Sunday (May 8) at ASAP ’05. Meteor Garden (The Full Edition) may be viewed from Monday to Friday, 5:30 PM to 6:30 PM.

Oist! Mga kapuso!!! Ano kayo ngayon?! Sino nanaman itatapat niyo sa F4? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Asa pa eh!

Dex’s Real Deal!

2005-05-08T20:04:00.000-07:00

My dear friends, I have a very important news to tell. Much to my disapproval not to post this news, my ethics will be in question and in great scrutiny if my lips will not speak of this dreadful hearsay.

My sworn enemy, Dexter “Asal Kamao” Ramirez, has a twin brother named Dovinique Ramirez. Dovinique is quite polite and very approachable (not like Dex who is so obnoxious). I was so fond of Dovinique because I learn so many new things whenever I speak with him. He graduated from Harvard University in the US with a degree in Social Science and Elaborated Microtech Symbiosis. He also has a Doctorate degree in Meat Slicing and Food Storage at AIM here in the Philippines. How I wish that Dexter is more like Dovinique.

Eventhough Dex and Dov have different personalities; they love each other so dearly.

I’m so sorry Dex…I have to speak about it already. Dov!!!! My main man! See you later dude!

Here is a pic of Dex and Dov giving brotherly love to each other.

Apparition

2005-05-04T19:53:00.000-07:00

While I was having my vacation, I tried to take a picture of a breath taking scenery I viewed early in the morning. I was shocked to learn that there was a huge lady like figure at the foreground of the image. It was disturbing. I tried to speak with the natives where I was staying and I was informed that the lady in the pic was a regular for the photographers of the island.

The lady, as I was informed is the ghost of Ms. Janylyn Silvyia Y San Montemayor. She used to own the whole island and she was responsible for decorating the place. Making her island win the title of “Island of the Year for your Daddy” in the year 1893, but the gruesome past of this lady was still a mystery. People rumored that she died while eating fire, others say that she tried surfing once and died. Nobody knows for sure what happened to the lady in the picture.

So please help me out. If you have any information regarding this lady, please do let me know.

Thank you very much.

Chef Number 49!

2005-04-24T22:52:00.001-07:00

Last Sunday, while I was watching ORIGINAL DVD’s, my stomach caught my attention. I realized that I was hungry and me and my girlfriend had nothing prepared for dinner yet. Then I remembered that my sworn enemy Dex gave me a hotline cooking number. 0917.04 was the number and he informed me that this is the best cooking/knife bending call center in the market!

So I gathered everything that was edible inside our cupboard and quickly dialed the number to report on what I have and what I could make out of it.

Someone: Good evening! Thank you for calling “The Ultimate Cook of South East Asia Organization for the Unrealistic Ventures”. This is Chef Number 49. How may I help you?

Me: Hi chef number 49! I’m Mr. Anthony Chua of the Tokugawa Empire and I wish to have a sumptuous meal this evening. Could you provide me with a recipe based on what I have right now.

Chef Number 49: Oh truly ever sir! Here in “The Ultimate Cook of South East Asia Organization for the Unrealistic Ventures” we have the best recipes even for metal based materials!

Me: oh that’s fantastic!

Chef Number 49: first sir, may I have the ingredients that you have with you?

Me: all I have is
1 (3 to 5 pound) oslo paper
5 tablespoons Japanese oil
5 cloves garlic, crushed into smithereens
1 medium size onion
Water from 1/4 cup achuete, soaked in papaya syrup
1 banana heart, sliced crosswise yesterday
2 bundles Chinese long bean (sitaw), cut into 2-inch pieces of paper
4 eggplants, cut into 1/2-inch slices
1/3 cup rice, toasted brown in a pan and ground to a powder like material
1/2 cup peanut butter with extra peanut and extra butter
Salt and pepper
Machine Gun

Chef Number 49: could I put you on hold for a minute sir? I will just check our database for possible sumptuous recipes.

Me: Oh sure! Please do.

After 2 minutes…

Chef Number 49: Hi again sir! I found the perfect formula for your cooking needs! It’s a Indian recipe from England and it’s called “Hot Hot Mega Rumble Part 3”

Me: That’s splendid Chef Number 49! Ok give the instructions to me.

Chef Number 49: All you have to do is…

Cut oslo paper into 3-inch pieces. Boil once and discard water.replace water with oxygen then boil again until tender.

Sauté garlic and onion in Japanese oil. Add achuete water soaked in papaya syrup , sautéed garlic and onions to oslo paper and bring to a boil. Add vegetables and enough water to make a sauce. Add the powdered rice and peanut butter dissolved in 3/4 cup water into the oslo paper. Season with salt, pepper and machine gun.

Serve with Bagoong Alamang or scientific calculator on the side.

Me: That sounds wonderful! Thank you very much!

Chef Number 49: you’re very much welcome sir. Is there anything else I could do to serve you?

Me: Oh yes! Could you please send me a picture of yourself. I want to brag to everybody how good a cook you are!

Chef Number 49: no problem sir. I will send it to you via email as soon as you provide me with your email address.

Me: My email address is ilovetorockandroll@rockmeinthephilippines.org.ph. Thank you so much!

Chef Number 49: No problem sir and THANK YOU for calling “The Ultimate Cook of South East Asia Organization for the Unrealistic Ventures”. Good Bye and have a nice day!

The recipe that Chef Number 49 gave me was exotically exquisite! Here's a photo of the food! yummy!

So please don’t hesitate to call “The Ultimate Cook of South East Asia Organization for the Unrealistic Ventures” and look for Chef Number 49! Here is a picture of him! isn’t he a darling?

The Contender II

2005-04-20T01:09:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody!

I’m so glad that I’m back here in our native land! I bet a lot of you are asking where I was for the past few days; you are in for a big surprise! I went to Las Vegas, Nevada to join the reality TV show “The Contender II”. They are already looking for new talents for the much awaited sequel of their current running show “The Contender”. If you’re not familiar with this series, you can see it on AXN!

When I learned that they are looking for super boxers, hesitation never passed my mind! I packed my bags and went to my private boat and went to Las Vegas! After 86 days of traveling by water, I finally reached my destination and looked for my contact person. As soon as I got into the hotel to register, people are whispering into my ear that I could make it to the final cut since I have a very promising and strong looking cadaver! The next day came my initial ring fight. They will distinguish from this fight if I’m worthy or not to join “The Contender II”. As I stepped in the ring, my jaws dropped right smack at the mattress. I saw in the ring with me the person they call “El Terrible of Costa Rica”, “Mr. I Will Kill You in 4 Seconds”, “The Fist of Death”! His name is Rafael Z. Mortuga. He’s from Costa Rica with a record of 98 wins and 0 loses but I wasn’t scared because I know I trained so hard for this day.

After 4 seconds when the bell rang….I felt nothing and saw no sign of light. I went down hard and almost died! Here is a picture of me after I gained consciousness.

Also, here is a picture of maybe the greatest boxer in the world!!! Mr. RAFAEL Z. MORTUGA!!!

Advetisement!

2005-04-13T19:16:00.000-07:00

My friend Dexter “Asal Kamao” Ramirez aka dex, dennis, delby, del, D, de, nanay invented a device which could revolutionize human existence. He informed me that he conceptualized everything while watching his dog bark last Friday.

So without further ado, I would like to present the MEGA CHATTER FACILITATOR!

This eyeglass type of equipment will make you chat faster. It will give you an amazing chatting speed of 40 kph. Not only will it make you chat quicker, it could also make you swallow food faster. This device actually reaches your inner brain cells and electronically activates your chatting and swallowing prowess!!! This MEGA CHATTER FACILITATOR will only cost you Php3,231.25! Isn’t that a deal!?!

BUT WAIT!!!! If you purchase before May 12, you will not get one, not two but 300 free units of MEGA CHATTER FACILITATOR! Just imagine 301 units of MEGA CHATTER FACILITATOR for the price of one!

BUT WAIT!!!! If you purchase today, you will get this hot hot extra rice for free!!!

So purchase today!! All you need to do is call the number below and look for Dexter Ramirez! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

Dexter Ramirez
09192432663

Istar Swars!

2005-04-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

I’m so excited for the upcoming Star Wars Episode III and I was lucky enough to find new information about the movie! Much to my dismay Hayden Christensen will not be on the 3rd chapter of the Star Wars series, instead the funny Will Smith will portray the big role of Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader.

I believe that Lucas has planned to put a comic character in the movie because the scenes may be too serious for viewers to comprehend. Since Will Smith will be in the movie. He has instilled a new Sound Track to the movie entitled “Star Smith: Episode III Point Shot”. The carrier single for the OST is very catchy. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to download the MP3 version yet but I am kind enough to post the lyrics in this blog. So…enjoy!

Title: I Am The Black Sith
Artist: Will Smith
Album: Star Smith: Episode III Point Shot
Star Wars Episode III OST

Uhhh…uhhh…uhhh….uuuuuhhhh…..
First was 4, 5, 6
Then came 1, 2 and 3!
No one can mess with the sith within me

I Can slash you with my light saber
And I will never say never
Because the emperor told me
To kill all jedis and flee!

Bada Bing Bada Boom
My Blasters Go Boom!
And Super Jet Fighter will fly
And go Zooooom!

Ha ha ha haaaaaa!!!!

Ha ha ha haaaaaa!!!!

(Chorus)

Star Waaaaaaaaars! (Epiosde 3! Episode 3!)
Star Waaaaaaaaars! (Epiosde 3! Episode 3!)
You know you can't walk just past
Because I’m Darth Vader and I will whoop your @$$!

(Repeat Chorus)

Daddy Loves You!!!
Daddy Loves You!!!
Ha ha! Ha haaaaa!!!!
Ha ha! Ha haaaaa!!!!

One! Two! Three!

Peace to Sith Ya’ll!

Ok si Jerry

2005-04-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

100 Things You Don't Know About Me Part III

2005-04-10T22:57:00.000-07:00

1. Batman is my hero and I also want to have pointy ears.
2. Boy Libido is my alter ego. He is the one who performs…PERFORM!
3. I have very long nails, that’s why I remember not to place them in my nose
4. I have two imaginary best friends, Neck Neck Man and Lady Cornick.
5. Neck Neck Man & I are like twins. We have the same hair-do!
6. Lady Cornick is male!!!!.
7. I like flowers.
8. I used to read the ugly duckling but never finished it.
9. Now I am as handsome as Patrick Ewing.
10. I hate people who talks with a dazzling speed of 20kph.
11. Kapamilya ako kasi cute si John Pratts!.
12. I started going out at a very young age of 53
13. I miss my "hard rock cafe" days with Jovit Moya.
14. Now, I’d rather spend my free time at home with my imaginary friends and eat jackfruit.
15. I’m chu to friends.
16. I seldom smile while doing jumping jacks.
17. I curse in japanese when I’m drunk.
18. I collect watches that are made of lampshades.
19. and Tatanka action figures as well.
20. I have an unfinished business with Baby Ama and the Ultimate Land Lord.
21. For me, I am the best.
22. I despise watching love stories translated in Portuguese.
23. I never enjoy "senti" but I love “sentai”.
24. When I die, I like the song "I Will Survive" and "Air Tsinelas" be played on my wake...with 40 cases of beers and Longnecks along side.
25. and my most prized possession, my Ultimate Warrior Necktie!
26. I don’t trust anybody who starts his/her questions with “Pare, tinatanong ‘nung tropa kong ninja…”.
27. I’m a wwe fan since Chito Loyzaga .
28. Kamote makes me fart.
29. Sometimes, I think I am my father.
30. The rock, on the other hand is better than iron.
31. i am not feminine and the "girly" type. Because I’m a boy.
32. and I’m straight.
33. I’m addicted to Crispy Pata and Chicken Joy!
34. Frogs scare the saliva out of me. I can still tolerate the presence of Bibingka.
35. I’m a rockstar!
36. I think I like Brandon Boyd.
37. I only listen to nothing but Hiphop, Rock, Alternative, Disco…etc…
38. Mom never allowed me to learn how to ride a bike while eating fire.
39. I hate “medyo” type of people.
40. I eat spicy food.
41. a guy friend of mine once said i had the eyes of Cyclops, then most of my cousins friends say I look like a monkey.
42. Year 2002, i was with two Panthers in bed with a bottle of Emperador. I got drunk and died.
43. The taste of Chicken Joy makes my day.
44. I prefer shopping with money.
45. As much as you guys wont believe, I really am a handsome person.
46. Silent but noisy.
47. I am a spirit warrior but I’m afraid of aliens.
48. Kris Aquino…ummm…ahhh…had a boob job?
49. I’m currently earning a middle class salary surviving with my appetite for Chicken Joy.
50. I’m in a battle with my imaginary friend Neck Neck Man because he is so rude.
51. My mom seriously thinks I have super human powers.
52. As proven last Saturday, I can bark like a dog while scratching my ears.
53. I have a love-hate relationship with with my Pet Tiger Wilfred.
54. Jim, Jack, Johnny, Jose, Danillo, Wewe are some of the names that I don’t know the origin of.
55. Cartoons keep me sane.
56. But...rambutan from Bohol is heeeaaavvvveeennn.
57. I am, exaggeratedly undressed sometimes.
58. I’m high maintenance and overweight.
59. I’m having mixed emotions today because “Tropang Tupac” (a group of I don’t know what who dearly writes and dedicates at songhits magazines) said that their favorite song is “Ang Huling El Bimbo”
60. I wish I had longer legs so I can kick Dexter Ramirez while sitting.
61. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t sleep around with clothes on.
62. I am down with math. Math is cool!
63. The only fruits I eat are mango, strawberry, banana and pechay.
64. I can consume three humongous BigMacs in one minute.
65. I can eat sampaguita leaves, okra, camote and play Scrabble all at the same time.
66. My mom never fails to let me know that I look like Shaider.
67. Much to my dismay, I have high beer tolerance.
68. Time will come and I will be cleaning out my faucet.
69. 69 isn’t my favorite number. it's 42515554654864343654.
70. For me, sleeping is not an option when I’m drunk.
71. I had the time of my life last night because I dreamed of David Hasslehof and he is giving me swimming lessons.
72. I cant live without my toothpick.
73. For crying out loud, I want to marry myself if I’m a girl because I’m so cool.
74. I have the tendency to self inflict unreal body oil.
75. I am already 23 but my folks treat me like a Polar Bear.
76. Juggling balls while on fire is better than sex
77. I, by heart memorize all of John Pratt’s songs.
78. I went merry go 'round on schools when I was at Nepal.
79. I will not be a good mom.
80. I am a loving and faithful boyfriend as long as I have my Chicken Joy.
81. I wish had the powers of Captain Doorbell and Tomato Man combined
82. I eat during sunday mornings.
83. I abhor the presence of Dexter Ramirez.
84. Someday, somehow..i would like to visit “Jaganda, the super mall”, “Nikbaraha, home of lady sampaguita and the memorable scissors” and “Pilipiti, the subtle battlegrounds” .
85. I don’t mean to be mean but all I mean is I meant to be mean when meaning is in absence.
86. I saw John Hall at 7eleven once. Ingeeeeet si Lesley!!!
87. I follow everything my girlfriend commands me.
88. I will give up my life for two pieces of Chicken Joy with extra gravy.
89. I hate wearing pastel colors with rice and extra gravy.
90. Summer 2004, I went to Dexter’s house. As soon as he opened their gate, I slapped him silly and sang Happy Birthday Babylos!
91. I’m hands down to Allen Iverson and Norman Black.
92. I will be thin someday said the palm reader at town center
93. I loooooove Shawarma, but not the paper that goes with it because I accidentally eat the paper sometimes.
94. The movie of Jet Lee entitled “The One” will have a sequel entitled “The One Two”
95. If you like "The One" then you'’ll like “The One Two”.
96. I Wish I could learn how to make plutonium out of household appliances.
97. I named this web log Master Chu Domain because Domain rhymes with pilipitipamain.
98. I will never cheat to the "one". Like Neo in the matrix. Keanu is sooo cute!
99. I am Hocus Focused.
100. My Car is named “Anne Margarette” and our photocopier in the office is named “Chiefy”

HI TO LESLEY AND THANK YOU FOR INSPIRING ME TO MAKE THIS POST!

iPod Mania

2005-03-28T21:38:00.000-08:00

Hello Everybody!

I would like to introduce SHINGO TAKASUGI, the actor who played Green Two for the hit Sentai Series BIOMAN. He is now sporting a brand new iPod Mini. I luckily had the chance to interview him while I was eating Mais Con Yelo when I was in Japan yesterday.

Me: Good Afternoon Mr. Takasugi

Shingo: oh please. Just call me green two. My mom and friends call me by that name naman.

Me: Wow! You know how to speak tagalong Mr. Green Two?

Shingo: Of course! But konti lang. I sometimes visit my fans in the Philippines.

Me: That’s very kind of you Mr. Green Two. So…ummm…I believe that you are the new model of the iPod Mini here in Japan. Did you audition for this?

Shingo: Yeah I am. Isn’t that wonderful? Actually, there were a lot of us who auditioned for the part. I was so happy when they chose me, so happy that I sang happy birthday three times even though it’s nobody’s birthday.

Me: Isn’t that grand?! Anyway, do you have an idea why they chose you instead of the others who auditioned?

Shingo: I believe they chose me because I have a beautiful Karate Chop! When I heard that there was an opening for Apple iPod Mini. I immediately sent a video of me while I was still playing the role of green two! They loved it!

Me: So you being Green Two before made your life so much easier until now?

Shingo: Oo naman. I consider it as my greatest achievement although it was like almost 20 years ago.

Me: Are there any plans of having a Green Two version of the iPod Mini?

Shingo: Of course! Actually, they are hitting the blueprints as we speak.

Me: Spectacular! May you describe the layout of your first Print Ad?

Shingo: I actually carry the initial layout in my pocket anywhere I go. See?

Me: Wow! You really look so furious in this picture! Green Two na Green Two ang dating!

Shingo: Thank you. I take pride on that photo. It took us 5 hours to really capture the essence of that pre-bioman transformation phase.

Me: Magnificent! Thank you very much Mr. Green Two. It was an honor speaking with you.

Shingo: You’re very much welcome Anthony. Remember to eat your greens!

Me: Yeah…right!

Place Your Bets!

2005-03-28T17:06:00.000-08:00

My Favorite Movie Last Year

2005-03-16T23:03:00.000-08:00

Commercial!

2005-03-16T22:56:00.000-08:00

Watch Out!

2005-03-15T19:33:00.000-08:00

Noon Time Show for You

2005-03-14T22:57:00.000-08:00

ABS CBN 2 and GMA 7 have been battling air time supremacy for the longest time. One time slot considered to be a busy battlefield for both networks is the “Noon Time” section. GMA 7 has the edge for this niche because of “Eat Bulaga” which embodies the essence Lunch Time Television. Channel 2 has had tons of Noon time clicks but success was far fetched because of their rival.

Me and my friends then thought about it, why not help our kapamilyas have a new show to at least have a chance of getting into the level of GMA. After 15 minutes of brainstorming, we came up with a brilliant plan!

We proudly present to the ABS CBN management the new generation of Noon Time Viewing! Our show will be called “ALAS 4 Y MEDIA”. This proposed show will play from 12:00 PM ‘til 1:30 PM with replays at 2:00 PM and 11:30 PM. It will consist not of celebrities but with true Filipino culture. That’s why we planned to have everyday ordinary Filipinos as hosts. The show will have all the flashy games that the other network have and even better! Listed below are the planned portions of the show.

1. Sing-A-Saging
2. Dinuguan Making Contest
3. Alaxan Power Push Ups
4. Nappy Time
5. Side Kick Make Up Artists Contest
6. Joke Times Two
7. …..and many many more!!!

I really hope they would consider this because in my estimate, this will be the focal point of the “Noon Time Era”

Opening Jingle:

One! (clap! clap! clap! clap!)
Two! (clap! clap! clap! clap!)
Three! (clap! clap! clap! clap!)
Kwatro! (clap! clap! clap! clap!)

Kami ang pinaka "OK" sa Tanghalian
Ito ay para sa inyong ikayayaman
Pag sumapit na ang Alas Dose
Alam niyo na ang isisigaw

Alas Kwatro Y Media (ang katropa niyo!)
Alas Kwatro Y Media (ang kasama niyo!)
isang oras at kalahating' puno ng SAYA!!!!
Wala ka nang ibang gugustuguhing kasamaaaaaaa!

One! (clap! clap! clap! clap!)
Two! (clap! clap! clap! clap!)
Three! (clap! clap! clap! clap!)
Kwatro! (clap! clap! clap! clap!)

ALAS KWATRO Y MEDIAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

The Best Job Ever

2005-03-14T00:41:00.000-08:00

My friend Paul wanted to have lots of money so he can buy his pet gorilla before summer ends. So I immediately informed him that there’s an opening for a life guard position in one of the hotels in makati. Without delay, he applied and got the job faster than he could pick his nose. He was telling me that ‘twas the best job ever because he really enjoys guarding the Jacuzzi.

“Pare, ok talaga ‘tong trabaho ko. Kahit graveyard ang shift ko, masaya na din ako kasi maganda naman ang sweldo tsaka I love swimming!”

I’m just so happy that I was able to help my friend. I placed a picture of him so you could see how proud he is while doing his job.

Classified Ad!!!

2005-03-14T00:21:00.000-08:00

Please Read

2005-03-01T00:35:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody! I just want to share a letter given to me. I was just overwhelmed by his experience and it cut me like a knife to realize that earthlings are capable of doing such appalling things.

Dear Anthony,

Good day!

I am an avid fan and a loyal reader of your blogsite. It came to my awareness that maybe you can help me with my unforeseen bitterness and anguish. I believe that you are the only person who can help with this dilemma of mine.

Let me introduce myself I am Billy (not my real name). I’m a foreigner and a proud visitor of your wonderful country. I heard so many beautiful things about the Philippines and my imagination wasn’t enough for me to taste the pleasure your country can offer, so I decided to see your native land with my own eyes. My father is a top CIA agent from Peru and my mother is a tae kwon do master from Japan but I grew up in Africa and when I was 13 years old, I lived in Germany. Obvious as it is, you may say that I don’t have a specific culture to follow. So enough about myself, please Mr. Anthony…Please hear me and help me…this is my story…

It all began when I was in the manila zoo, Philippines. I was alone that dreaded day of January 20 happily eating my cotton candy when suddenly, bandits of albino kangaroos grabbed me by my left shoulder and knocked me unconscious. The next thing I know is I’m in a motel room, so I believe, and I was naked. I was so drowsy and felt really heavy when I opened my eyes. Swiftly, a three legged, 10 foot Black Panther came to me and started to rape me vigorously. I tried to fight back but the panther was too strong for any human to fight against with. I even tried shouting for help but the panther placed a spell on me and I can’t even whisper a word. I only cried while the kangaroos laughed, smoked and drank to their heart’s content.

After the gruesome invasion of my privacy and manliness, they untied me and forced me to drink a famous drink here in the Philippines. I believe it was “Tanduay”. They made me drink 12 bottles of the rum for 15 minutes only. As any normal person’s mental and body state would experience, I became unconscious for the second time around.

The next morning, without me really knowing how long those beastly animals tortured me, I woke up in my hotel room in Oakwood Premier half naked. At least they had the decency of putting my pants on. As I got up to get a glass of water, a note was placed on my hotel refrigerator. And it says…

“A spell of portrayal in your personality may be…In order your past and present your eyes will see”

A riddle as anyone could say but it didn’t make sense to me. All became so crystal clear when I saw the picture on my bathroom mirror. The riddle was for me to understand and see that they’ve placed paranormal writings on me for me to realize things in my past, present and maybe even for my future.

Baffled maybe you will ask of my mentality? No, Mr. Anthony, I see things so clearly now but that frightful day in your country will always be a nightmare to me. They left so much evidence on my body that forgetting is an impossibility.

Thank you Mr. Anthony for reading my letter. I really hope you can help. Thank you very much. I’ve placed a picture of my facial grade right now for you to understand what I’m going thru.

Best regards,
Billy

Billy,

I feel for you. To be honest, I am ashamed to hear that you underwent this pain while visiting our country. As of now, my advise to you is be strong for whatever you’ve experienced in life. Something that does not kill you will only make you stronger….

Dear friends, please place your comments on this post to uplift Billy’s spirit. Thank you and long live billy!

Concert! Concert!

2005-02-23T00:08:00.000-08:00

Alcohol

2005-02-22T23:46:00.000-08:00

My friend Paul informed me that the proper way of Filipino drinking always shows respect. When he was in Palawan, a native there showed him the ethnic Filipino way of drinking alcoholic beverages. “Drinking through your mouth is so western” said the native Palawanian. The Filipino way of drinking shows respect and courage. It is also a good way to show off to them pretty chiks!! So for all of you who wants to drink the true Filipino way, please follow the picture below.

Movie ni Panaksak!

2005-02-22T00:18:00.000-08:00

My Friend Paul Santiago came up with a brilliant idea! We are on the stage of planning for our latest movie “Kaibigan Kong Bangkay”. It’s not another horror flick but a new breed of sci-fi/drama/I want to kiss your friend type of comedy. We’ve already come up with a cast!

TEASER POSTER:

CAST:
Dranreb Videña as Ramirez (the ill fated carcass)
Roderick Paulate as Simon (Ramirez’s bestfriend)
Dominique Wilkins as Carmen (the antagonistic maniac)
Ronnie Rickets as Boy Bulldozer (brother of Simon)
Lani Misalucha as Baby (lady guard)
Lindsay Lohan as Fimentel (Pakwan)
Dexter Ramirez as Boy Plema (driver of Ramirez)
Myron Patrimonio as Winnie (lady lay up princess)
Christian Alvisse as Shadow Hawk (cousin of Fimentel)
Adrian Alon Alon as Belk (Tornado puncher)

Lyrics for the OST:

sumusuntok, naglalakad, tumatawa
Lahat ng ito’y aking nagagawa
Umuwi, manood at kumain
Lahat ng ito’y kaya kong gawin

Ngunit bakit ang kaibigan ko’y tila tahimik
Sa sinehan ay wala siyang imik
Ako’y nagulat sa aking nalaman
Na si Ramirez pala ang…

(chorus)
Kaibigan ‘kong bangkay
Kaibigan ‘kong bangkay
‘di ko alam na siya’y patay

Nung isang beses ako’y nagpatawa
Pero nakita ko na wala siyang ginawa
Akala ko wala siyang pakialam
Ilang beses ko na din siya pinagluto ng ham

Nasa caloocan kami nakasabit sa jeep
Sabay busina ng kotse sa likod beep! Beep!
Kami’y nahulog at ako ay umaray
Akala ko siya’y nawalan lang ng malay
Yun pala si Ramirez ang…

(repeat chorus)

(refrain)
Ang sama ng loob ko sayo
At ako’y nagtatampo
Pangako sa isa’t isa walang sasablay
Hindi mo man lang sinabi na ikaw ay pataaaay!!!

(repeat chorus 4x)

(instrumental)

(fade)

Look Mama!

2005-02-18T17:07:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday, i was browsing through my collection of DVD's from Jakarta then i stumbled on my most watched film last year. "I Know What You Did Last Samurai". This movie is great! It's a suspense/thriller/musical about this little boy named "Chandra", Tom Cruise's character.

The film started with Chandra sweeping the floor of their house then suddenly a loud noise came from the sky, Chandra came out of his house to investigate about what he heard. To his disbelief, he found a giant elephant sitting on top of their residence. Eventually, he became friends with the elephant. During Chandra’s 21st birthday party at Planet Hollywood in Hong Kong, Chandra received the biggest surprise of his life. The elephant turned into a Samurai Master!!! The Samurai Master, named Kafuri, explained to Chandra that he was the chosen one, two, and three. Anyway, in the middle part of the film (after they sang and danced to the beat of “Do the Hustle” at the beach) Kafuri changed Chandra’s name to Stanford because he is already a samurai master and an expert in cooking chopsuey. A business tycoon/ninja named Mr. Dandelion heard about Kafuri and his apprentice Stanford and their art of the sword. Mr. Dandelion believes that he is still the best fighter in the whole wide South East Asia. Mr. Dandelion won the “Motolite Pangmatagalan Braekdance Challenge” and the reigning champion of “Extra Dios Marital Martial Arts Competition”. Being the antagonist of the movie, he searched for Kafuri and Stanford. At the final stage of the film, Mr. Dandelion terminated Kafuri but Stanford destroyed Mr. Dandelion. Before the movie ends Stanford said “I have avenged your death Master Kafuri…because I know what you did last samurai”.

My tears flowed like coffee in Shangrila Hotel because of the intensity of the scene. After which I went to starbucks and read a book!

Hahahaha!!!! Laugh Trip to Jerusalem

2005-02-15T19:52:00.000-08:00

The best talaga mga pinoy! Below is a list of Stores/Products which may be found only in the Pheleppens.

Alabank (rural bank of Alabang)
Bote Nga Sa'Yo (Used Bottle Shop)
Candies Be Love? (Candy Shop)
Caintacky Fried Chicken (in Cainta, Rizal)
Cinna Von (a laundromat)
Cleopata's (bakahan and manukan)
Common Cents Store (Sari-sari Store)
Crispy per minute (Crispy Pata Eatery)
Fagoofyt (a children's hair salon on J. Elizalde Avenue in BF Paranaque)
Faithfully Yours (detective agency in Kamagong, Makati)
Felix the Cut (Barber Shop)
Fernando Pe's Box Office Hits (video rental shop in Busuanga, Palawan)
Goldirocks (Gravel & Sand Shop)
Happy Birthday Toyo (a soy sauce brand in the 70's)
Ho Kee Yah (pronounced ''OK Ah!'' with a Chinese accent; Chinese restaurant on Session Road in Baguio)
Holland Hopia (owned by Mr. Ho; next door is Poland Hopia, owned by Mr. Po in Chinatown Manila)
Lalafca (novelty store)
Leon King Video Rental (Las Pinas)
Let's Goat-Together (kambingan cum beer garden)
Maid To Order (Maids Placement Agency)
MacDonuts (Donut Shop)
Mang Donald's (burger joint, Naga City plaza)
Meating Place (Meat Shop)
Meatropolis (meat shop)
Memory Drug (A Mercury Drug Clone)
Nacho Fast (Nachos To Go)
O'Beer Time (Bar cum Nightclub)
Peter Fan - We Repair While U Wait
Pizza Hot (Pizza Place)
Saudia Hairlines (Beauty Salon)
Second Time Around (Second Hand Watch Store)
Susan's Roses (flower shop)
Sylvestre's Salon
The Fried of Marikina (fried chicken shop)

Click Here to View Source

Destroy Dexter!!!!

2005-02-15T00:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Dexter,

It has come to my knowledge that you’ve betrayed me. A certain spy of mine reported to me that you planned a scheme to make my existence extinct. Because of these developments I called upon the ultimate power of Las Piñas City…MR. Bull Time Express!!!! As you can see in our picture, we are so ready to battle you and your minions and we are NOT afraid of your Dynamic High Blood Attack!

Let me introduce you to our master…

MASTER KATABOSHI!!!

In this picture, Master Kataboshi is posing the “Beep Beep Killer Smile Assault” and I know for sure you can’t pound yourself out of this. He studied this move in South Mall for 4 days already and i warn you that it's so dangerous.

So Dexter “Asal Kamao” Ramirez beware!!! You will go down...town.

Love,
Anthony "Noon Time Show King" Chua

2005-02-13T21:10:00.000-08:00

The Super Boxing Match is now a reality!!!!

Manny "The Pacman" Pacquiao and "The Puncher" in a one night battle.

When: March 2, 2005 (Wednesday)
Where: Food Choices, Alabang Town Center
Why: This event is for the benefit of Lakbay Kalinga Home of Benny the Flying Donkey

Tickets may be purchased at any ACE Hardware store!!!

Buy Now!!!!

Fifty Three Points!!!!

2005-02-06T22:10:00.000-08:00

Bentley & Cinnamon

Hello, I just want to share another experience I had last January 4, 2005 at Glorietta 3. I was just strolling around minding my own business when suddenly two mysteriously looking gentlemen came up to me. Both of them were wearing pin striped coats with matching suite cases and a tumbler from Starbucks. One of them gathered his obnoxious smile and said….

Guy 1: Hi! I am Bentley and this is Cinnamon. Magtatayo kami ng gang pero Glorietta lang ang coverage. Gusto mo sumali?

Me: Seryoso ka ba pare? ano name ng gang niyo?

Guy 1: Actually wala pa pero balak namin na name is “Dignigang” para artistic yung dating pero hindi kami hiphop. Alternative ang dating namin.

Me: Dignigang? Alternative? Parang mejo baduy yata yung gang niyo dude eh.

Then the other guy replied…

Guy 2: Dude hindi baduy ‘to. Kami palang ang gang na alternative yung theme. Kaya pioneers kami sa industry na ‘to.

Me: Pero…ummm…bakit magtatayo pa kayo ng gang?

Guy 2: Nabasa kasi namin sa GQ Magazine na cool ang mga gangs at the same time magkakaron ka ng license to be rowdy kasi gang member ka.

Me: Ganun ba yun? May fee ba akong babayaran para makasali sa inyo?

Guy 2: We were just about to talk to you about financial matters nga dude eh. Php 5000 lang ang kailangan mo bayaran for the membership fee tapos Php 500 nalang yung yearly fee para hindi ka matanggal sa gang.

Me: ummm…sige! Sali ako. Pero promise niyo talaga magiging cool ako ah.

Guy 1: Oo naman dude! Ngayon pa nga lang “dude” na tawag namin sa’yo eh. Dun palang cool ka na!!!

Me: astig!

Guy 2: All you have to do is fill up this application form and you’re all set. May makukuha ka pang free guitar lessons and coffee every 15th of the month!!!

Me: Sige…cool…ako

So everything ended by me joining the gang. We usually hang out at the mall drinking coffee and speaking Tag-lish! The pictures I have attached are Bentley and Cinnamon. They are the cool guys I always hang out with. So if you want to be cool. Just contact me at this number 09274442046.

Multo in the City II

2005-02-03T23:05:00.000-08:00

I want to share a very shocking experience I had when I was staying at my friends’ house at Calgary Alberta. I just got home from club “Billy Billy” and was a li’l drunk after drinking 67 bottles of Cali Shandy Light. The next scenario haunted me for the next 4 seconds. When I entered the door, everything seems in order. The Billiards table, 456,000 cm. flat screen TV, super hyper sound system, my dogs crap, old news papers were on their proper places but what bothered me was that my pet tiger was hiding underneath our dinner table….

Me: What’s wrong Wilfred? (The name of my pet tiger)

Wilfred: There’s something in my bedroom. I’m not so sure what it is…)

Answered my pet tiger while sipping his freshly squeezed orange juice.

Due to my curiosity, I crept to Wilfreds’ bedroom to find out for myself what was terrifyingly wrong.

Wilfred shouted!!!!

“No master Anthony!!! It might hurt you!”

As I paused due to my pets warning, a weird laugh came out off Wilfreds room.

What I saw was a very unexplainable and frightening sight. Please see for yourself and you decide.

.

Team Up of the Century...Egg

2005-02-02T01:21:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my dear friend Dexter “Asal Kamao” Ramirez a.k.a. Dennis, Delbert, Debbie, Delby, Del, D, Destah. He is nice, cute and this is his picture from Canada where he was an actor for the TV Series “Shooting Scar with Dabilah Thompson” but unfortunately the show was cancelled after 43 hours due to lack of fund. I decided to make him a part of my site because I would like to team up with him to destroy this diabolical fool right here…

Mr. Paul “Panaksak” Santiago. People beware!!!! This person is very dangerous! I once caught him smashing his neighbors’ knee cap using his bald head while shouting “Ping Pong Massacre!!!!” Now, he is threatening to kill my family because of a measly pandesal I ate from his birthday party. He keeps on claiming that that piece of bread has a map inside which will lead him to eternal sunshine. If your eyes set sight on Mr. Paul “Panaksak” Santiago please don’t think twice….KILL HIM!!!!

But the Filipino public should not worry, because Dexter “Asal Kamao” Ramirez and Anthony “Resistensya Builder” Chua will be your saviors in case this flip minded “Panaksak” tries to hurt you. We will form WATCH GUARD 2007 ver.2. With our forces combined, we are unstoppable! We have invented this special move called the “Counter Assassin Split Decision Attack” that will surely stop all evil deeds.

WATCH GUARD 2007 ver.2
ANTI-PANAKSAK BRIGADE
Tel no. 0919.2432663

Please…Ibalik na…Please!!!

2005-01-31T18:10:00.000-08:00

All my “kapamilya” out there, please holler back!!! I best believe that we all agree that the Geoff Eigenmann and Heart Evangelista tandem is not working. First of all, there is no chemistry. Geoff is (not in a gay sense) a good looking guy and Heart is simply spectacular but both of them do not blend at all. Whenever I watch “Hiram”, I always find myself laughing my ass off every time Harry, Geoff’s character, says Margarette, Heart’s character in the series. Please try and watch it. It’s insane!!!! That low toned voice mixed with dramatic no-tears-in-sight is just lame. I deem that me and my friends could do better. Second, he is very monotonous. Just try and listen. The note of his voice is all the same whether he’s crying, laughing or maybe even crapping! In the other hand, how many of you got that feeling of getting your smile off your face impossibility stage whenever you see Heart Evangelista and John Pratts? As one of my guilty pleasures, Hell Yeah!!! I am one of those avid fans of the legendary tandem; I always stick on the channel where I can find both of them in it. John Pratts has very good acting skills (I beg of you, don’t try to start a debate with me on this because you’ll never win!) every movie and TV tandem that they made was a hit. Not to mention the dancing expertise of John. I need not elaborate on this because it’s so damn obvious. Please ABS…please…ibalik niyo na!

Dba myon???!!! Mas gusto natin si John Pratts?!!!

Due to Insistent Public Demand/Peer Pressure

2005-01-28T17:37:00.000-08:00

Maketing Team....i'm so proud to announce tou you that I, Anthony Chua, will be a persistent Blogger from this day forward. First i want to thank Sir Nick and Pauline for subliminally forcing me to pick up my blog. I also would like to publicly announce that Sir Nick and Pauline will be my blog mentors.

To my dear friends....Paul, Dexter, Myon and Vic, i would like to extend my arms to all of you electronically and post my deepest spot of annoyance possible. I promise to be the most infuriating blogger in the whole of your dilly!!!

'till then....