How to Become a POSER

Wikipedia defines a poser as a person who adopts the dress, speech, and/or mannerisms of a subculture for personal gain or in order to manipulate or impress others. A poser does not often share or even understand the philosophical underpinnings of whatever group he or she identifies with, unless it is at the most trivial of levels. Most often, a poser is acting from purely selfish motivations, trying to gain access to a group of people they see as elite, or cause others to think that they belong to that elite group.

In light of this…I will teach you wannabes out there on how to become a true genuine poser!!!! It’s simple and easy! Just follow my steps and I guarantee you that you will become one in a week’s time.

Poser Checklist: (things/abilities you will need to become a poser)

1. wide imagination
2. good communication skills
3. high learning/pick-up ability
4. researching prowess
5. comfortable with untruthfulness
6. no grasp of reality
7. internet access
8. photoshop skills!!!!!


These are just a few things for you to be able to pull off a believable “poser” stature!

Step 1: (KNOWLEDGE)

Always do intensive research on who you want to imitate. Make sure that you will imitate a culture or a person that is always way above your reach. That is the essence of being a poser. You must realize that people nowadays are not stupid. Homosapiens, due to evolution, can now smell bull$#!t talk from miles away. Take down notes of crucial details and make sure you learn it by heart.


Step 2: (INTERNALIZATION)

After learning the culture you wish to imitate, it’s time now for you to understand and learn how to become the PERSON you wish to be! Every once in a while you should internalize that individual. Imagine him/her being magnificent in every way and slowly you should place your face on that person. You should feel it in your heart and you should believe that you will become that person! Screw “reality check” and all that bull$#!t!!!! It’s the stage wherein you redefine yourself.


Step 3: (ON THE JOB TRAINING)

This is the first step of the untrue person within you to meet the realm of reality! This is the trial and error phase where in you will blend in with the real people. You must learn that it’s only ok to have loop holes on your new persona. Just make sure you don’t make the same mistake over and over again. This is where your research will be put to the test. Always find a way to shoot your mouth off on who you are (your poser self). Challenge yourself to communicate with the people around you and make them believe what you believe!!!! Make up stories! Concoct imaginary people! Do EVERYTHING to make them believe your stories! Create photoshop manipulated images as exhibits to your new character.


Step 4: (LETTING GO)

After you make people take notice of who you (your poser self) are, it’s the phase wherein you have to let go of the real you. I believe that it’s time for the new you to face the old person that you are and say…”MOVE B!+CH!!!! GET OUT THE WAY!!!!” let go of that old pathetic loser and say hello to the almost-real new you.


Step 5: (LIVE THE LIE)

Enjoy your creation! Enjoy the new you! Believe yourself! Screw your friends and look for new ones! But always make sure that your old friends still knows how cool and elite you are. It’s now time to take the stage and be the star of your imaginary world!


Keep it mind that to be a poser you don't just create a new character, you build an almost believable world to compliment the poser in you and it's your responsibility to suck the people inside this imaginary domain of yours. make them believe what you believe! Just follow these steps and you will become one of the greatest posers in history!!!!

Remember the Poser's Motto "Always Do It For Yourself And No One Else"