Concert! Concert!

Alcohol

My friend Paul informed me that the proper way of Filipino drinking always shows respect. When he was in Palawan, a native there showed him the ethnic Filipino way of drinking alcoholic beverages. “Drinking through your mouth is so western” said the native Palawanian. The Filipino way of drinking shows respect and courage. It is also a good way to show off to them pretty chiks!! So for all of you who wants to drink the true Filipino way, please follow the picture below.

Movie ni Panaksak!

My Friend Paul Santiago came up with a brilliant idea! We are on the stage of planning for our latest movie “Kaibigan Kong Bangkay”. It’s not another horror flick but a new breed of sci-fi/drama/I want to kiss your friend type of comedy. We’ve already come up with a cast!

TEASER POSTER:



CAST:
Dranreb Videña as Ramirez (the ill fated carcass)
Roderick Paulate as Simon (Ramirez’s bestfriend)
Dominique Wilkins as Carmen (the antagonistic maniac)
Ronnie Rickets as Boy Bulldozer (brother of Simon)
Lani Misalucha as Baby (lady guard)
Lindsay Lohan as Fimentel (Pakwan)
Dexter Ramirez as Boy Plema (driver of Ramirez)
Myron Patrimonio as Winnie (lady lay up princess)
Christian Alvisse as Shadow Hawk (cousin of Fimentel)
Adrian Alon Alon as Belk (Tornado puncher)

Lyrics for the OST:

sumusuntok, naglalakad, tumatawa
Lahat ng ito’y aking nagagawa
Umuwi, manood at kumain
Lahat ng ito’y kaya kong gawin

Ngunit bakit ang kaibigan ko’y tila tahimik
Sa sinehan ay wala siyang imik
Ako’y nagulat sa aking nalaman
Na si Ramirez pala ang…

(chorus)
Kaibigan ‘kong bangkay
Kaibigan ‘kong bangkay
‘di ko alam na siya’y patay

Nung isang beses ako’y nagpatawa
Pero nakita ko na wala siyang ginawa
Akala ko wala siyang pakialam
Ilang beses ko na din siya pinagluto ng ham

Nasa caloocan kami nakasabit sa jeep
Sabay busina ng kotse sa likod beep! Beep!
Kami’y nahulog at ako ay umaray
Akala ko siya’y nawalan lang ng malay
Yun pala si Ramirez ang…

(repeat chorus)

(refrain)
Ang sama ng loob ko sayo
At ako’y nagtatampo
Pangako sa isa’t isa walang sasablay
Hindi mo man lang sinabi na ikaw ay pataaaay!!!

(repeat chorus 4x)

(instrumental)

(fade)

Look Mama!

Last Thursday, i was browsing through my collection of DVD's from Jakarta then i stumbled on my most watched film last year. "I Know What You Did Last Samurai". This movie is great! It's a suspense/thriller/musical about this little boy named "Chandra", Tom Cruise's character.

The film started with Chandra sweeping the floor of their house then suddenly a loud noise came from the sky, Chandra came out of his house to investigate about what he heard. To his disbelief, he found a giant elephant sitting on top of their residence. Eventually, he became friends with the elephant. During Chandra’s 21st birthday party at Planet Hollywood in Hong Kong, Chandra received the biggest surprise of his life. The elephant turned into a Samurai Master!!! The Samurai Master, named Kafuri, explained to Chandra that he was the chosen one, two, and three. Anyway, in the middle part of the film (after they sang and danced to the beat of “Do the Hustle” at the beach) Kafuri changed Chandra’s name to Stanford because he is already a samurai master and an expert in cooking chopsuey. A business tycoon/ninja named Mr. Dandelion heard about Kafuri and his apprentice Stanford and their art of the sword. Mr. Dandelion believes that he is still the best fighter in the whole wide South East Asia. Mr. Dandelion won the “Motolite Pangmatagalan Braekdance Challenge” and the reigning champion of “Extra Dios Marital Martial Arts Competition”. Being the antagonist of the movie, he searched for Kafuri and Stanford. At the final stage of the film, Mr. Dandelion terminated Kafuri but Stanford destroyed Mr. Dandelion. Before the movie ends Stanford said “I have avenged your death Master Kafuri…because I know what you did last samurai”.

My tears flowed like coffee in Shangrila Hotel because of the intensity of the scene. After which I went to starbucks and read a book!

Hahahaha!!!! Laugh Trip to Jerusalem

The best talaga mga pinoy! Below is a list of Stores/Products which may be found only in the Pheleppens.

Alabank (rural bank of Alabang)
Bote Nga Sa'Yo (Used Bottle Shop)
Candies Be Love? (Candy Shop)
Caintacky Fried Chicken (in Cainta, Rizal)
Cinna Von (a laundromat)
Cleopata's (bakahan and manukan)
Common Cents Store (Sari-sari Store)
Crispy per minute (Crispy Pata Eatery)
Fagoofyt (a children's hair salon on J. Elizalde Avenue in BF Paranaque)
Faithfully Yours (detective agency in Kamagong, Makati)
Felix the Cut (Barber Shop)
Fernando Pe's Box Office Hits (video rental shop in Busuanga, Palawan)
Goldirocks (Gravel & Sand Shop)
Happy Birthday Toyo (a soy sauce brand in the 70's)
Ho Kee Yah (pronounced ''OK Ah!'' with a Chinese accent; Chinese restaurant on Session Road in Baguio)
Holland Hopia (owned by Mr. Ho; next door is Poland Hopia, owned by Mr. Po in Chinatown Manila)
Lalafca (novelty store)
Leon King Video Rental (Las Pinas)
Let's Goat-Together (kambingan cum beer garden)
Maid To Order (Maids Placement Agency)
MacDonuts (Donut Shop)
Mang Donald's (burger joint, Naga City plaza)
Meating Place (Meat Shop)
Meatropolis (meat shop)
Memory Drug (A Mercury Drug Clone)
Nacho Fast (Nachos To Go)
O'Beer Time (Bar cum Nightclub)
Peter Fan - We Repair While U Wait
Pizza Hot (Pizza Place)
Saudia Hairlines (Beauty Salon)
Second Time Around (Second Hand Watch Store)
Susan's Roses (flower shop)
Sylvestre's Salon
The Fried of Marikina (fried chicken shop)

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Destroy Dexter!!!!

Dear Dexter,

It has come to my knowledge that you’ve betrayed me. A certain spy of mine reported to me that you planned a scheme to make my existence extinct. Because of these developments I called upon the ultimate power of Las Piñas City…MR. Bull Time Express!!!! As you can see in our picture, we are so ready to battle you and your minions and we are NOT afraid of your Dynamic High Blood Attack!

Let me introduce you to our master…

MASTER KATABOSHI!!!



In this picture, Master Kataboshi is posing the “Beep Beep Killer Smile Assault” and I know for sure you can’t pound yourself out of this. He studied this move in South Mall for 4 days already and i warn you that it's so dangerous.

So Dexter “Asal Kamao” Ramirez beware!!! You will go down...town.


Love,
Anthony "Noon Time Show King" Chua

The Super Boxing Match is now a reality!!!!

Manny "The Pacman" Pacquiao and "The Puncher" in a one night battle.

When: March 2, 2005 (Wednesday)
Where: Food Choices, Alabang Town Center
Why: This event is for the benefit of Lakbay Kalinga Home of Benny the Flying Donkey

Tickets may be purchased at any ACE Hardware store!!!

Buy Now!!!!

Fifty Three Points!!!!

Bentley & Cinnamon

Hello, I just want to share another experience I had last January 4, 2005 at Glorietta 3. I was just strolling around minding my own business when suddenly two mysteriously looking gentlemen came up to me. Both of them were wearing pin striped coats with matching suite cases and a tumbler from Starbucks. One of them gathered his obnoxious smile and said….

Guy 1: Hi! I am Bentley and this is Cinnamon. Magtatayo kami ng gang pero Glorietta lang ang coverage. Gusto mo sumali?

Me: Seryoso ka ba pare? ano name ng gang niyo?

Guy 1: Actually wala pa pero balak namin na name is “Dignigang” para artistic yung dating pero hindi kami hiphop. Alternative ang dating namin.

Me: Dignigang? Alternative? Parang mejo baduy yata yung gang niyo dude eh.

Then the other guy replied…

Guy 2: Dude hindi baduy ‘to. Kami palang ang gang na alternative yung theme. Kaya pioneers kami sa industry na ‘to.

Me: Pero…ummm…bakit magtatayo pa kayo ng gang?

Guy 2: Nabasa kasi namin sa GQ Magazine na cool ang mga gangs at the same time magkakaron ka ng license to be rowdy kasi gang member ka.

Me: Ganun ba yun? May fee ba akong babayaran para makasali sa inyo?

Guy 2: We were just about to talk to you about financial matters nga dude eh. Php 5000 lang ang kailangan mo bayaran for the membership fee tapos Php 500 nalang yung yearly fee para hindi ka matanggal sa gang.

Me: ummm…sige! Sali ako. Pero promise niyo talaga magiging cool ako ah.

Guy 1: Oo naman dude! Ngayon pa nga lang “dude” na tawag namin sa’yo eh. Dun palang cool ka na!!!

Me: astig!

Guy 2: All you have to do is fill up this application form and you’re all set. May makukuha ka pang free guitar lessons and coffee every 15th of the month!!!

Me: Sige…cool…ako


So everything ended by me joining the gang. We usually hang out at the mall drinking coffee and speaking Tag-lish! The pictures I have attached are Bentley and Cinnamon. They are the cool guys I always hang out with. So if you want to be cool. Just contact me at this number 09274442046.

Multo in the City II

I want to share a very shocking experience I had when I was staying at my friends’ house at Calgary Alberta. I just got home from club “Billy Billy” and was a li’l drunk after drinking 67 bottles of Cali Shandy Light. The next scenario haunted me for the next 4 seconds. When I entered the door, everything seems in order. The Billiards table, 456,000 cm. flat screen TV, super hyper sound system, my dogs crap, old news papers were on their proper places but what bothered me was that my pet tiger was hiding underneath our dinner table….

Me: What’s wrong Wilfred? (The name of my pet tiger)

Wilfred: There’s something in my bedroom. I’m not so sure what it is…)

Answered my pet tiger while sipping his freshly squeezed orange juice.

Due to my curiosity, I crept to Wilfreds’ bedroom to find out for myself what was terrifyingly wrong.

Wilfred shouted!!!!

“No master Anthony!!! It might hurt you!”

As I paused due to my pets warning, a weird laugh came out off Wilfreds room.

What I saw was a very unexplainable and frightening sight. Please see for yourself and you decide.



















.

Team Up of the Century...Egg

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my dear friend Dexter “Asal Kamao” Ramirez a.k.a. Dennis, Delbert, Debbie, Delby, Del, D, Destah. He is nice, cute and this is his picture from Canada where he was an actor for the TV Series “Shooting Scar with Dabilah Thompson” but unfortunately the show was cancelled after 43 hours due to lack of fund. I decided to make him a part of my site because I would like to team up with him to destroy this diabolical fool right here…


Mr. Paul “Panaksak” Santiago. People beware!!!! This person is very dangerous! I once caught him smashing his neighbors’ knee cap using his bald head while shouting “Ping Pong Massacre!!!!” Now, he is threatening to kill my family because of a measly pandesal I ate from his birthday party. He keeps on claiming that that piece of bread has a map inside which will lead him to eternal sunshine. If your eyes set sight on Mr. Paul “Panaksak” Santiago please don’t think twice….KILL HIM!!!!

But the Filipino public should not worry, because Dexter “Asal Kamao” Ramirez and Anthony “Resistensya Builder” Chua will be your saviors in case this flip minded “Panaksak” tries to hurt you. We will form WATCH GUARD 2007 ver.2. With our forces combined, we are unstoppable! We have invented this special move called the “Counter Assassin Split Decision Attack” that will surely stop all evil deeds.

WATCH GUARD 2007 ver.2
ANTI-PANAKSAK BRIGADE
Tel no. 0919.2432663